woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
