Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I looked at my own cervix.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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