oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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