I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize