You're my little dorito
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
