The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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