the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Enjoy the penises
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
