I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
