I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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