After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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