we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
ugly people sure do ruin things
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I would fuck him just for his dog
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