I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize