Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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