a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
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