Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
