Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
