so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
