He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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