i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
