The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
