We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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