Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
