hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
The feeling are messing with the penis
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
is that a dick in a sweater?
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
