my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Randomize
