you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
