If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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