he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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