That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Randomize
