what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
