Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Randomize
