it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
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