i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I wannas sexs uuuuu
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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