I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
