This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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