Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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