YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
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