foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Two words: blizzard sex
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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