pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize
