i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
