How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
