I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
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