the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i wish my penis had a tongue
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
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