I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Randomize
