we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
