I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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