i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
