i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
