peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Randomize
