He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
