That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
