Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
