Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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