Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
