I want to have your abortion
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Randomize
