I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
