i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
