Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I think weed is turning my hair brown
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Randomize
