I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
