I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
