ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
