Dual....:-)
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
