Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
