I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Randomize
