Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize