ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
