i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize