what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
