She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
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