It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize