Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
My feet surprised me
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